Defining success can be tricky. We let so many outside factors influence what we feel we should be. We apply labels like “mom” or “career woman” and create boundaries around them as if the label or person could be reduced to a generic definition in the dictionary.
More than Mom by Heather Jones is awesome for getting rid of those labels and helping you redefine or un-define yourself. (I like to keep myself nebulous.)
I grew up during a time when the definition of success was finishing college and becoming a doctor, engineer, or lawyer. Because I’m Filipino, nurse was also an acceptable career in my family. Add to that the pressure of being the first college graduate on one side of the family and it’s not like I had a lot of options if I wanted to be defined as “successful.”
I was—and am—a creative, so doctor, engineer, and lawyer were never careers I wanted to pursue. I’ll spare you all the twists and turns that brought me to where I am. The point is, I went to college and got a respectable job. I learned new things, advanced in my career, and became a good, financially independent citizen. Regardless of my very rocky path, I met the expectation.
But what I truly enjoy is creative writing. It’s what I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid. Part of the problem is, I believed that I could not financially support myself and “meet expectations” as a creative writer.
Let’s be honest, though. It’s true. Unless I decided to live with my parents for a very long time and worked some part time job just to have have some spending money, there was no way I could make it as a writer. (Then again, maybe it’s that kind of thinking that’s held me back.)
I have no regrets. I am the person—and writer—that I am because of all my experiences. I have a wonderful family and a comfortable life. We have enough that we can give back. I have published my own book, and I intend to publish more.
But I will admit that fear is what has been holding me back this past decade. So Heather Jones’s book More than Mom was a much needed read for me.
Introducing Heather Jones
Disclaimer: I’ve known Heather since 2008. (But even if I didn’t, I’d tell you this is a good book.)
Heather and I were contractors working for the same client. We hit it off from the start, and while we haven’t seen each other in years (her Army life), she remains one of my dearest friends. Here’s some info on Heather that you’ll find in her book:
She’s driven, motivated. She walks the talk. She runs it, too.
She admits her mistakes and learns from them.
She’s supportive. (She’s one of my very, very, very, very few friends—and I don’t have a lot of friends—who read my book even though she does not read the fantasy genre. You know why she did it? She knew it meant a lot to me.)
She’s sincere, real, genuine—take your pick. She will not tell you what you want to hear just to make you happy. However, she will speak to you with kindness.
She’ll kick your butt if she thinks you need it, but she will be showing you that you can actually kick your own glutes into action.
And that’s just the overview. So if you’re looking for a life coach, she’s seriously legit.
More Than Mom
More than Mom is about finding your passion and going after it in a realistic way. Heather speaks from experience and outlines her own rocky path and how she achieved her own version of success. (Note: it’s her version and not anyone else’s. You define success for yourself. Heather does a great job of reminding her readers of this.)
It’s easy to say, “I quit my 9-5 job! I’m going to make a living selling toothpick sculptures because boy do I enjoy creating with toothpicks!” At this point, Heather doesn’t laugh and tell you to try again. In her book, she provides you with some ways to explore that goal. Is it really what you want? Is it viable? How much will it cost? How much will you make? What’s your niche? What’s your end goal?
Heather also helps you think through your obstacles. For example, what’s stopping me from quitting my job and publishing books? Well, that’s a whole thing I won’t go into, but instead of feeling completely hopeless about it all, this book helps you analyze your situation more objectively. If x, y, and z are stopping me, let’s start with x.
So, I haven’t mentioned anything about the “mom” part of this book. Heather speaks to moms about being entrepreneurs and finding a way to “making a living” without feeling like you need to be a perfect mother and working the traditional 9-5 job. If that’s who you are, then this book is perfect for you.
I am a mom, but I don’t have toddlers. I have a traditional 9-5 job. And I still found a lot of the information in the book to be extremely valuable. There’s no one-size-fits-all here.
My takeaways
Everyone is different. Some people like self-help books, others don’t. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a self-help book kind of person. However, I’ve read many books that others have recommended to me on topics ranging from what to do with a newborn, to writing and to leadership and overall productivity. Some things resonated, others did not.
This book resonated with me. I liked More than Mom because it didn’t go on for 200 pages, talking about the same thing over and over. It was to the point and hit the highlights. Heather’s voice is very conversational and encouraging, and she never comes across as holier-than-thou. The last thing I want to read while I’m struggling is about how you’ve managed to make millions of dollars and now you’re writing this book in your hammock in Tahiti, so now I can do it too. Don’t lie to me.
Heather encourages you to think and face your obstacles. My biggest take aways were her thoughts on perfectionism and changing your mindset. Even something that seems like a small suggestion (get a planner to write on) can make a world of difference. Sometimes, you just need someone to say it a certain way before it clicks.
Final thought on this book: I am not waking up early. Haha! It’s the one piece of advice she has (and explains very well) that I just can’t get onboard with. Not that it will never happen…I just happen to know where I am right now. When I told Heather, she wasn’t the least bit surprised.
If you want to go beyond the book and see what else Heather has to offer, visit her website at https://www.heatherjonescoaching.com.
5 STARS ON GOODREADS
This quick and easy read is like a friendly kick-in-the-pants, and I mean that in the best way possible! While the title implies that this guide is for moms (and she does speak from a mom point of view), there's a lot of advice in here about mindset change that could benefit just about anyone trying to get out of a rut or change direction in life.
Here’s my rating system:
5 stars: I love this book so much that I must own a physical copy of it. I’m definitely going to recommend it to people.
4 stars: This was a great book. I love it, but I don’t need to own a physical copy. I’ll definitely recommend it to people.
3 stars: This is a really good book. I was entertained.
2 stars: This book was fine. I don’t hate it or anything. It was fine.
1 star: This book wasn’t for me. It might be for someone else, though. There are probably a lot of reasons why it isn’t for me. I’m not hating, though.
0 stars: I’ve read it, or maybe I didn’t finish it, or maybe I didn’t enjoy it. Could be anything.
Comment below and let me know what you thought of this book if you’ve read it!